Behaviour Isn’t the Problem. It’s the Clue.
Most “behaviour problems” aren’t behaviour problems.
They’re communication problems.
And if you live with animals — really live with them, not just “own” them — you start to see how obvious that is.
A dog that won’t come back in from the garden.
A cat that suddenly stops using the litter tray.
A horse that steps away when you lift the saddle.
It’s rarely “naughty”.
It’s information.
Not a moral failing. Not a personal vendetta. A message — delivered in the only language they’ve got.
The moment we start labelling, we stop listening
We’re quick to decide what behaviour means.
“Stubborn.”
“Dominant.”
“Attention seeking.”
“Manipulative.”
Sometimes we forget that animals don’t sit there plotting to ruin your day.
Most of the time, they’re doing one of three things:
trying to feel safe
trying to avoid discomfort
trying to make sense of what’s being asked
Pinned ears aren’t “attitude”. They’re a signal.
Freezing isn’t “being difficult”. It’s a response.
A growl isn’t “badness”. It’s a boundary being expressed.
Correction is tempting — but it’s often the wrong starting point
Correction feels tidy.
It gives you something immediate to do: stop the behaviour, fix the moment, get back to normal.
But if you correct the signal without understanding it, you risk teaching an animal they shouldn’t communicate.
And that’s when problems get bigger, not smaller.
The shift is small, but it changes everything:
Stop asking, “How do I correct this?”
Start asking, “What is this protecting?”
Because behaviour is often protection:
protection from pain (physical or emotional)
protection from overwhelm
protection from confusion
protection from past learning (“last time I did this, it didn’t go well”)
The systemic piece (yes, animals have systems too)
It’s not only about individual choices.
Animals live inside systems we create for them:
routines
environments
training methods
time pressures
expectations that don’t match their needs
In the horse world, for example, there are real pressures: lesson barns needing reliable horses, time constraints that discourage slow handling, training traditions that prioritise obedience over wellbeing, and limited access to skilled veterinary or bodywork care.
None of that excuses ignoring welfare.
But it does explain why the answer is rarely “try harder” — and more often “change the conditions”.
Small shifts that build trust (and better behaviour)
You don’t need to become a different person overnight.
You just need a different starting point.
A few practical shifts that help:
1) Treat behaviour as data.
Instead of “she’s being a pain”, try “she’s telling me something”.
2) Check for discomfort before you judge character.
Pain, ill-fitting tack, dental issues, stomach discomfort, sensory overload, fear — so many “behaviour problems” aren’t behavioural at all.
3) Create a clearer ask.
Animals struggle when cues are inconsistent, timing is off, or the request changes without warning.
4) Respect a boundary without taking it personally.
A step away, a tail swish, a pinned ear, a lip lick, a yawn — not all signals mean “no”, but they often mean “not like that”.
5) Reduce pressure, increase clarity.
Pressure without clarity creates panic.
Clarity without kindness creates compliance — not partnership.
Partnership doesn’t begin with obedience
Whether it’s a dog, a horse, a cat — partnership doesn’t begin with obedience.
It begins with respect.
Respect for what they’re communicating.
Respect for what they can and can’t cope with today.
Respect for the fact that “difficult” is often just “not okay”.
And when you start there, you don’t just get better behaviour.
You get a better relationship.
A question to leave with
Where have you seen “bad behaviour” turn out to be a message — not a personality?
#AnimalBehaviour #DogBehaviour #HorseWelfare #EquineBehaviour #PetCare #PositiveTraining #AnimalWelfare #ConsentBasedHandling #RelationshipFirst #MyPetLife
